should we stay or should we go?

And when?  This is a topic that comes up for discussion anywhere from daily to weekly in this household.  And, still no conclusions have been made.  Brett's work contract is for one year, which would be Feb. 1, 2012.  Well, we have decided in no way do we want to leave a beautiful summer here and return to winter in the states, especially if that is the Minnesota winter.   One plan we have is for Liam and Phoebe stay in school through the first term, which will end some time in April.   Then we would plan on doing some more traveling, likely more of the South Island... maybe camping or in an RV.  We could then return "home" and work on reestablishing ourselves in jobs and housing (and, in my dream world, have this figured out by the time school starts in the fall).

 Sounds like a decent plan... but, I have to say, we have some obstacles with it.  First, we need some different housing as of Jan. 23rd.  Oh, how I do not want to have to leave our lovely beach house, but we have no choice.  And, not sure if we will find anything to compare to this.  Brett also claims he is going to cut down on work, so he can have some fun too - so likely we will not be able to afford anything comparable.   Bummer.   I am sure we will be just as happy not living on the beach... at least I hope I haven't been spoiled for life.

But, this really isn't the hardest part of the plan.  The biggest problem we have is with the actual returning to the America.   This task seems absolutely daunting.  I mean, we went through a lot to get here.. selling the house, our stuff, our cars, quitting the jobs, leaving the schools... and now starting to realize that doing the opposite is going to be twice as hard.  The part of it that we are having the most contention over is exactly where we would we go back and reestablish ourselves.   All of my instincts say we are coming home to Minnesota.   I mean it is the place I have always "come home" to.  We are both born and breed Minnesotans, the majority of our family lives there, and it is the familiar.  And, I really have never thought of raising my children anywhere else.  Of course, now we have had a taste of the "good life"... and by that I mean a costal temperate climate in which you can enjoy the outdoors year round without possibly losing a digit or the tip of your nose.  Brett is pretty convinced that we cannot move "home" and endure another long Minnesota winter.  And, after that last winter, I think many of you may be thinking the same.  On the other hand, as much as I dislike the insane coldness, I figure it is my lot in life. All the generations of my family have been though it, and now, so must my children.  Makes us tough.

So, it is getting hard to think about coming home, especially when I'm not sure where that is going to be.  And, it is going to be really hard to leave this place.  The people are great and we have been making friends.  Life is simple.. no traffic, no rushing.  The weather has been great.  It is now winter and it is still green and still getting into the low 60's.  Getting more chilly, but, my god, I'm still wearing sandals (okay, when I started writing this in June I was, but that is changing).  We will never be scrapping slush, snow, or ice of anything!!  And, it is beautiful..... the hills, the amazing beach and surf, the coast.   Every time I start driving around this beautiful place I can't believe how so undiscovered it is and sheltered from tourists or big traffic.  Never could we replicate this back in the states.

We have discussed a scenario where we could possibly live here for 9 months of the year and return home for June, July, and August.   Of course, that is a lot to spend in airfare each year.  And, the biggest problem would be figuring out how school would work (as the kids would still be in school here in those months).   Snowbirds at our age?.... probably not going to happen.

I have to admit, I have suggested that maybe we just stay.  At least for a little while longer.  It already feels too soon to leave.  And, every time I look out at the ocean, or take a walk on the beach.. I just can't imagine  moving from this place.   Especially if I am not going to move back to my home and family in Minnesota.  And, here is where the argument of what to do really gets ugly.  I say "lets stay or move back home to Minnesota, because I want to be close to my family".  And, Brett says  "what? how can you say you want to stay here if you otherwise want to be close to family.  Why not just move to somewhere else in the states, where you can see your family a lot easier?"  We can go around and around with this - I think we both have equal arguments.  Can't wait to see what happens.

Wainui waves

early June in Wainui

Long shadows of winter 

So, I have now been writing this blog post for over a month.  And, I think we have actually come to a conclusion that we will be traveling back to Minnesota, probably arriving in May or so of 2012.   As for what happens after we arrive, I can't even begin to think about it yet.....  maybe make some money and pack up for somewhere else new, or back here, or we settle back into the life we used to know.   Our plans have no certainty.  It's unsettling, but, when you think about it, life really has no certainty, no matter how much you plan.  So, for now, I am just going to keep living life.